Went to class, ushered at convo, changed my meal plan, called my mom, changed my meal plan back, got my mail, dropped some money off, went to the international office, picked up a form, made copies, dropped copies off, talked about business with the paper staff.  And most of this since noon …

Ugh, I need to sit down for a bit.  This is supposed to be my easy day (only 1 class!) but I’ve been rushing around for the last hour or so like crazy.

Can’t wait for the weekend ..

Em

Friday

It’s finally Friday, and I’ve only had 3 days of class so far.  But I feel like it’s been a lot more.  I’ve had dance for 1.5-2 hours each night starting Tuesday, and we’re performing tomorrow.  I really hope the team (and myself) are ready.  Only 6 girls are performing so it’s kind of even more pressure to do well.  Tonight we have our team dinner and then afterwards will practice some more.

Along with dance, I’ve also been getting my organizations in order.  I’ve had several meetings for each of the other organizations in which I have a leadership role.  I think things are all going well though.  Also, I’ve had all of my classes so far except tennis.  Calculus is going to kick my butt, and I don’t have D coaching me through it like I did in high school.  While he is definitely willing to help me out, not living here doesn’t help the situation.  I think the question is, did I know it and forget it because 2.5 years have passed, or did I never really know it at all?  (Math, that is.)  So hopefully I’ve just forgotten a lot because of time.  I’m already planning on going in during the tutoring sessions, and maybe even signing up for my own tutor.  We’ll see how it all goes.  I can’t drop the class because it’s a lot of credits, so I’m kind of backed into a corner.  Why did I think this sounded like a good idea, again?

Other than that, I have an English class and two psych classes.  One of my classes only has 6 people in it, which is pretty cool.  (Although I can’t miss class, be late, or not do the reading, or it will be pretty obvious.)  I’m excited about the semester overall, but also a little worried that I’m going to be insanely busy with activities and classes.

Em

Monday

Ugh.  I am already tired of it.  I hate, absolutely hate, living in a dorm.  I am not cut out for the dorm life at all.  Really social people are a lot better at it than people like me.  I’m not anti-social, but I definitely need time to myself.  Without people yelling in the halls and being generally loud and annoying.  I just wish I had separate school/work, personal, and social lives.  But here they’re all combined.  I don’t want to socialize where I shit, thank you.  Dorms are a really unnatural habitat .. a bunch of people who don’t know each other crammed together and expected to live peacefully and socialize.  God, now it’s like a fucking party in the hall.  It’s 11:30 at night, people, and it’s not the weekend.

Tomorrow I have a busy day.  I have a retreat for one of my organizations from 9:30 to 12, and then a meeting at 12.  After that, I really need to get groceries, school supplies, books, and change my meal plan.  Then I have two hours of dance at night.  It should be pretty crazy .. better than just sitting around waiting for classes to start.  I am always ready to get on with it.

I made it to my 6th semester!  Only 3 more and I’m out .. if I had been more organized I could probably have graduated early.  I don’t know about now though.  I can make it through, somehow ..

My goals for this semester are to push through to summer – stay busy and active, and hopefully have a little fun in the meantime.  We’ll see.

Em

Saturday

And I’m not even a sophomore anymore.  But oh, how I remember those days.  D. is currently dealing with his sophomore slump .. he is not looking forward to second semester at all.  His struggles prompted me to think back over my last year, particularly how much better my junior year has been than last year.

Last year, I spent a lot of first semester being unhappy and depressed with school and my life overall, thinking about how I should have transferred after freshman year, seriously considering transferring then, and testing my alcohol limits on the weekends.  I was also adjusting to the whole long-distance relationship thing.  I dealt with my dissatisfaction with my school experience by going abroad-ish for 2nd semester.  I just felt so confined and stagnated by school.  So I decided to make a change.  My program was definitely an adventure, but overall, 2nd semester wasn’t a great experience.  I was and am glad I did the program, and if I had to do last year over again, I would probably still do it.  (But I would definitely make some changes while there.  Like a different living situation.  Hindsight’s 20/20, eh?)

Once I came back from the program, I made the decision not to transfer.  I was a junior, I would lose a lot of time/credits, I would have to adjust to an entirely new campus, and I didn’t want to go much farther away from home and my boyfriend than I already am, which limited my options.  I just didn’t want to be a freshmen all over again as a 20-year old junior.  Actively deciding that transferring wasn’t right really empowered me to make changes on-campus.  I resolved to really get involved last semester, and overall, I think I succeeded.  I got involved in the newspaper, two dance organizations, and several miscellaneous organizations, including student government.  Because of my involvement last semester, I am set up to occupy four leadership positions next semester.  Not only does involvement with groups look good on the resume, it also keeps me sane.  I do things I enjoy and meet new people while participating in them.  I did all this while maintaining a solid GPA.  My grades, school involvement, and my several internships will hopefully set me up for a good internship this summer and a solid job in the future.

Even though I can always improve, my sophomore to junior year transition was definitely a positive one.  And to be honest, I’m really glad I’m heading back to campus instead of packing to spend 4 months in another country.  I’m sure everyone who’s going abroad will have good experiences.  But in the meantime, I’ve made my place on-campus .. and I’m not about to give that up.

Em

Wednesday (night)

Yesterday my boyfriend D. planned a really nice day out for me.  It was a lot of fun and a sweet gesture.  He took me out to breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a movie, with planned ice skating that fell through because of bad weather.  Then I stayed with him last night, which was nice.  Today I got home around 3 and crashed in front of the tv for awhile, before a nice dinner with my family and then a movie with D.  Tomorrow he and I are going to a nearby city to see a couple of artsy movies.  So I should get some sleep …

Em

Wednesday (night)

Many of my friends and family are confused about my near-addiction to the MTV show The Hills.  But I like it because it is shot really beautifully.  The shots of L.A. combined with the music are really pretty.  And I guess more than anything I am jealous of these girls’ lives.  Even though their dialogue is often stilted and they aren’t the smartest people in the world, they have fun, exciting lives.  They have amazing jobs (of course, they would probably have not been able to land them without being on the cast of a popular tv show) in fashion, music, and events.  They have lots of money and great clothes.  Their apartments are beautiful and they have a cool group of friends.  The drama is often over the top, but overall, they seem to have a good time.

Meanwhile, I’m going to college in the middle of nowhere, unsure of exactly what I want to pursue or if I will be able to get a good job once I graduate.  The winter is like hell and I’m lacking in clothes I love.  I haven’t had my own apartment (except once with girls I hated) and some of my friends leave something to be desired.

My life pales in comparison.  On the brighter side, I will come out of college with a degree and a strong desire to improve some aspects of my life.

But doesn’t it suck that when I graduate at 22, I will be striving for what these girls had at 19?  It just seems so unfair sometimes.  But I guess it’s not helpful to wallow in what you don’t have.

Em

Saturday

I haven’t posted since I’ve been home from school.  Things have generally been pretty crazy around here.  But somehow, my 21st birthday, Christmas, New Year’s, and my trip to Florida have all come and gone.

My birthday kicked off the holiday season.  Since it’s the day before Christmas, I was going to celebrate a day early at midnight with some of my close friends.  But before I could get to that, I had to get through a friend’s alternative holiday celebration.  I managed to escape fairly early with D and was then super-excited I was about to be 21.  But the night had some other plans for me.  The first place we tried to go (I had even made a reservation) had closed early because they hadn’t had enough business on the 23rd.  It was a Irish pub and would have been the perfect atmosphere for me to have my first drink out.  Alas, it was not to be.  So we ventured to BWWs, which couldn’t serve me, even at midnight.  I don’t think it’s a law, but some places have their own regulations about serving people turning 21 the night of their birthday – it seems silly to me.  It makes sense to not let new 21-year-olds get super-trashed at bars, but it’s illegal to serve someone who appears intoxicated, anyway – so I would think that restriction would cover it.  But I guess not.  To top it off, one of my friends was not answering his phone, and the roads were super-icy.  Eventually we got ahold of him and he was fine, but we were all worried there for a few minutes.  Since two plans in a row had failed, I was getting pretty defeated at this point.  So I drove with D to buy some alcohol.  Since the liquor stores were already closed, I went to a drugstore and loaded up on tequila, margarita mix, spiced rum, and champagne.  I was so happy that the woman let me buy it the night of my birthday, I barely even minded that she talked my ear off and took what felt like 5 hours to ring me up.  And of course I forgot a mixer for the rum, so we stopped at the grocery to grab that.  Then we headed to my friend’s apartment.  What we had could hardly be called a party, since it was only 5 of us, and only D and I were drinking – kind of pathetic, actually.  But I didn’t know what else to do because I am back in my hometown and I only have a few friends here.  So we got kind of drunk off margaritas and rum and then my friend drove us back to my house, where we hung out for awhile before D headed home.  I hope that when I get back to school I can actually go out to the bars with a couple friends there.  (Not that my social life is going to really be hopping since several of my friends are off-campus next semester.  Guess that will just give me more incentive to make new ones.)

Christmas was pretty standard.  My brother woke me up around 10 or 11 and then we had this breakfast casserole thing after opening some presents.  My favorite presents from both Christmas and my birthday were my new red pea coat, a Coach bag, and my grandma’s gold bracelet.  (I’m really bad at remembering presents I received.)  I got a camera case, which was really needed, a digital picture frame, and Season 1 of the Hills.  I also got a good amount of cash, which was nice, and will hopefully let me buy the things that I didn’t get that were on my list – dance shoes, more dance clothes, a subscription to Glamour.  I also wanted a massage but knowing how expensive those are I might not get one .. ah well, what can you do.  Later in the day D came over for Christmas dinner.  We had these little hens, which were really yummy but difficult to eat.  That night, most of the family and D watched Elf, which is super-cute.

On the 27th, we all left for Florida (including D), and just got back today.  It was fun overall but there was definitely family drama mixed in.  It was really nice being able to drink at restaurants, and I took advantage of all the island frozen fruity drinks available.  I did get carded every time, though – I think I look young for my age, which doesn’t help.  Wine was also a standard beverage, and Mike’s.  I am kind of a girl .. haha.  We spent our days relaxing on the beach and by the pool, swimming, reading, and just hanging out.  We played tennis a few times, went on a boat ride, and went to see a movie.  Overall it was a fairly chill vacation, and I was really glad to have D along to give me a little space from the family.  It’s nice that we can spend a whole week together and not get tired of each other.  And I am halfway through a 500-page book, which doesn’t sound like much but it’s more than I’ve accomplished in awhile.  It’s really hard to get reading done at school – since I have so much reading for my classes, it’s hard to justify reading for fun.  Anyway, today we had to wake up at 6 a.m. to catch our flight, and that was brutal after not sleeping until midnight.  So when I finally arrived home I slept for like 3 hours and then had pizza and watched TLC.

New Year’s eve was pretty uneventful.  I went to Benjamin Button with D and my mom, and afterwards D and I took a long walk on the beach.  We had our own New Year’s, the way we wanted it to be, at 8 p.m.  It was really sweet and romantic to spend time together on the beach and by the pool.  After that, we just cuddled in his bed and watched the New Year’s eve shows with my dad and brother.  My favorite part of the whole thing was probably Kelly Pickler – she was down asking people there questions, and her discussion of the “traditional New Year’s Eve glasses” was pretty priceless.  And she kept saying, “I just want to get in your suitcase and go with you!” to people who were planning on vacationing.  And she talked to Taylor Swift about how they had hung out last New Year’s and made cakes .. what’s poor Taylor supposed to say about that other than “thumbs up!”?  Haha.  By the time the new year rolled around, I had consumed only 1 Mike’s, had made no resolutions, and was more than ready to go to bed.  At 21 I am already a lame old person .. oh well.  I did receive several of the cursory New Year’s phone calls and texts, which was nice, but overall I wasn’t really in the spirit.  It kind of sucks that I have to get used to both a new age and a new year within about a week.

I guess if I did have any resolutions they wouldn’t be about typical things like weight loss or doing better in school.  (Because my grades came out and I did really well, yay!)  They would probably be more about my creative ventures, like dancing and writing.  I really want to choreograph a dance, so maybe that should be my resolution this year.  But if I only make 1 resolution and fail, that’s worse than making 12 and failing at half .. hmm.

I only have about a week more left before school starts back up.  I already have a ton to do even the day before classes start.  This semester is bound to be crazier than ever with leadership roles in four organizations (it’s all on my ass, whoop whoop).  Although it will be stressful, it will also keep me busy and look good on the ole resume.  This week I’m sure I will spend a lot of time with D.  A lot of good movies are out that we want to see, too.  Also, I think my gram is going to be visiting sometime soon.  I’ll keep you updated!

Em