I’ve realized that soo many of the people at this school are really socially awkward.  Like, to the extent that I’m like, “Aww, hon, really?  You’re 18 years old (or more), you should really know not to wear that and act like that.”  I just feel bad for a lot of them, because the real world will not be as kind as the school’s bubble.  I’m open to befriending people who are outside of the norm, but I’m not the naive, overly-friendly person I was when I was a first-year.  I’m still friendly and nice to everyone, but now I know that you aren’t going to be friends with everyone you meet.  And I just don’t have the time to cultivate friendships with a lot of people.  And I’ve determined that I probably won’t be friends with a lot of the people I know now when I get outside of school, just because we won’t keep in touch or I don’t like them all that much, at least not as more than drinking/hangout buddies.  (A sign I need new friends, but how to meet them?)

Right now I’m not focusing on socializing as much as getting more involved in activities and classes and meeting people through those.  If I join activities I like, there will probably be people there that at least have similar interests.  (And hopefully aren’t weird to the point of pity.)  I just don’t know where they got the idea that people act/dress like this in the outside world.  And even though I go to a super-liberal school, I still believe that appearances matter.  People judge you on how you look.  If you look better, you feel better.  And a ton of people just don’t know how to interact in a natural way.  I guess this school just draws those sorts of people … you’d think I would have noticed before my junior year.  (I did, but I guess it just didn’t bother me as much.  Probably because I was friends with more of them.  And I cared more about being the girl who was friendly with everyone.)  Now I’m just too lazy to reach out to every last person.

My dorm is a good example.  In past years (especially my first) I would have made much more of an effort to meet and get to know them.  I’m sure I will get to know people in my dorm, and I look forward to that.  But I’m not going to step outside of my box to introduce myself and talk to them.  If it occurs naturally, that’s great, but otherwise I just don’t think it’s worth the effort.

Anyway, I’m signing off for now.

Em