Friday

It feels like there are a bunch of little people doing jumping jacks in my stomach.  It’s not comfy.  And the last thing I ate (quite a few hours ago) was some cereal.  Oh, and a little chocolate.  But seriously.  I can eat a hamburger after being vegetarian for five years and be completely fine, but cereal makes me clutch my stomach?  This is just ridiculous.

Anyway, D. and I talked about our issues on the phone earlier (after I had talked to both I. online last night and S. today on the phone about it … I love my friends).  We talked about two of our main recurring problems and we came up with some proposed solutions to them.  So hopefully we will both work on holding up our parts of the bargain and things will improve.

It’s not like there are big problems.  But even little problems need to be solved.

I have been thinking a lot lately.  I want to work on really discovering who I am, what I like, and what I want.  This is something that’s hard for an indecisive, scattered person like myself (oooh, shiny object!), but I am trying to figure myself out without judgment and with true honesty.  A lot of times I fast forward to worrying about careers when I haven’t even figured out what it is I like to do or what I’m good at.  It’s putting the cart before the horse.

Three things I know about me – I like to create, I like to help people better themselves, and I like to sell things.  But I need to become more specific and more detailed.

Along with this self-discovery, I’ve learned I definitely want to travel more.  Instead of overanalyzing where I want to go and why, I am going to work on trusting my intuition.  (On everything, not just in travel.)  I have always wanted to go to Australia, so when I get the opportunity I will take it.  Or I will make the opportunity at some point in my life – nothing is ever just handed to you.

The book Eat Pray Love has been inspiring me, even though I’m only a little way through it.  That book I was talking about yesterday, about designing your self, has also been helping.  It talks about simplifying your space – have few but very nice things.  I agree with that in principle but I definitely don’t live by it – my overstuffed room is an example.

I need to work on figuring out what I want out of life, not just what I think I want, or what I should want.  My mom’s friend’s friend does this thing where you cut out pictures from magazines and make a big poster out of them.  The ones you select and how you arrange them tell you something about your life.  I think that’s a very interesting concept and I kind of want to try it.

Aside from all of this thinking about my life, my evening was pretty uneventful.  I talked on the phone for awhile, then finished watching Jumper (not a good movie), and then went and hung out with D.  We watched Flight of the Conchords (sooo hilarious) and just chilled.  Now I’m back home since my stomach was giving me so much trouble and I’m really sleepy.  Tomorrow I work from 3:30-10ish.  I kind of wish I had the day off (it is Saturday), but seeing as I had 2 days off during the week I’m ok with it.

Sleep time for me!

Em